I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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