Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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