you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
