A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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