The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
