know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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