I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
