how hairy? two words: wookie tits
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
