So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
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