I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
