wat bout pragnant strippers??
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
