I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Randomize
