she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
