the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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