So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
