1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
