Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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