apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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