No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
