I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I just had sex on a roof
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
