And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
this hospital has no fireball
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize