i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize