Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize