it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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