so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
My feet surprised me
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