I must be too annoying 4 u.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
