Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Randomize
