How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
i drank out of a bidet.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
