I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
