so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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