so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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