first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
