Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
you will always have a special place in my vag
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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