I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
