Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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