i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
