you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
