There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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