Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Randomize
