I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
