so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
