i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
