The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
he just fucked me for my cheese..
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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