ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize