WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
