I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
