Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize