If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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