if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
