its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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