Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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