you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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