Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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