if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Randomize
