i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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