we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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