I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
